for those of you who wanted to see some of my work...

i don't have any songz for you guys to look at yet, but other than songwriting i do a lot of poetry as well. My poems are already copyrighted so i don't mind sharing them. this is something i was asked to write it for my high school's graduation, the theme was "forever young" so that is the title of the poem. check it out, tell me what you guys think.

Forever Young

Every dream comes to an end, until the stars come up again,
Like a supernova, shining as we combust,
Into a million particles of passionate dust,
Something like Orion, a brilliant nebula,
We have set our bars, somewhere near the stars,
Looking at the sky, seeing a forecast of divine memories,
As we hear overzealous words passing through the tempestuous storm,
And it seems as if the clouds can’t take the rain, because it keeps pouring down,
Just a drop of water in an endless sea,
Wishing that heaven would fall down upon us,
Going to be the last one standing,
Going to start forever tonight,
This is like the tide when it comes in,
The first of the final goodbyes from within,

These flaws we have, they are part of who we are,
When we leave here we may not be perfect men, but we have learned to strive to do the best we can,
Only the good die young, I guess that’s you and me,
My last breath is my last attempt to understand,
Empathizing and sympathizing, but trust me I know how it feels to be mislead,
Every time I envisage, I try to see from your perspective,
You do not have to go this treacherous climb alone,
Come what it may, come what it will,
Every single moment is in the eye of the beholder,
The pulchritudinous of the lives we live,
And on that note it feels natural like music,
But we do not have to rush the melody,
The chorus of boundless angels,
Like a chord on a guitar we can string these moments along,

Memoirs of a youth unspoken,
Hours turn to days, as if we’re out of time,
Maybe in the future I will wish to turn back the hands of time in hope of bringing back an old friend of mine,
But this is not the past, nor the future,
We can’t take back what we can’t change,
But if we wear masks of the utmost elegance we can fool the world,
Running from commitment, hiding from our feelings,
Desire burning like fiery brimstone,
Presently tired of holding on when there is nothing more to gain in these hallowed halls,

We may not want to leave, but we must on this summer’s eve,
I feel as if high school’s solemnly exquisite memories are drifting away from me,
As these extraordinary recollections rush our cerebral capacities we must learn to let it be,
Love, confidence, innocence, and truth, qualities best captured in our youth,
To many of you out there in the crowd being young may mean inexperienced or immature,
But to us being young is freshness, vigor, and I can reassure,
You that these words are true as they come off of my tongue,
And not only as a class but as brothers we shall stay forever young…

Is it really that EZ for you?lol

You got skills....

Good stuff man! For people with ADD like myself, try to keep it a little more concise my eyes cross after 60 seconds! Lol I don't mean that as a critique you have good ideas!

Armed and dangerous, ain't too many can bang with us
Straight up weed no angel dust, label us Notorious
Thug a$$ niggaz that love to bust, it's strange to us
Y'all niggaz be scramblin, gamblin
Up in restaraunts with mandolins, and violins
We just sittin here tryin to win, tryin not to sin
High off weed and lots of gin
So much smoke need oxygen, steadily countin them Benjamins
Nigga you should too, if you knew
What this game'll do to you
Been in this sh*t since ninety-two
Look at all the bullsh*t I been through
So-called beef with you know who
F*ck a few female stars or two
Then I bluelight niggaz knew like Mike's sh*t
Not to be f*cked with
Motherf*cker better duck quick, cause
Me and my dogs love to buck sh*t
F*ck the luck sh*t, strictly aim
No aspirations protect the game
Spit yo' game, talk yo' sh*t
Grab yo' gat, call yo' click
Squeeze yo' clip, hit the right one
Pass that weed, I got to light one
All them niggaz I got ta fight one
All them hoes I got ta like one
Our situation is a tight one
Whatcha gonna do, fight or run?
Seems to me that you'll take thee
Bone and Big, nigga die slowly
I'ma tell you like a nigga told me
Cash Rule Everything Around Me
Sh*t, lyrically, niggaz can't see me
Fu*k it, buy the coke
Cook the coke, cut it, blow the b*tch
Before you call yourself lovin it
Nigga you with a Benz fu*kin it
Doesn't it seem odd to you
Big come through with moms and crews
Goodfellas to to the Mo Thugs dudes
Who's the killa, me or you?

MoWarrior79 wrote:Armed and dangerous, ain't too many can bang with us
Straight up weed no angel dust, label us Notorious
Thug a$$ niggaz that love to bust, it's strange to us
Y'all niggaz be scramblin, gamblin
Up in restaraunts with mandolins, and violins
We just sittin here tryin to win, tryin not to sin
High off weed and lots of gin
So much smoke need oxygen, steadily countin them Benjamins
Nigga you should too, if you knew
What this game'll do to you
Been in this sh*t since ninety-two
Look at all the bullsh*t I been through
So-called beef with you know who
F*ck a few female stars or two
Then I bluelight niggaz knew like Mike's sh*t
Not to be f*cked with
Motherf*cker better duck quick, cause
Me and my dogs love to buck sh*t
F*ck the luck sh*t, strictly aim
No aspirations protect the game
Spit yo' game, talk yo' sh*t
Grab yo' gat, call yo' click
Squeeze yo' clip, hit the right one
Pass that weed, I got to light one
All them niggaz I got ta fight one
All them hoes I got ta like one
Our situation is a tight one
Whatcha gonna do, fight or run?
Seems to me that you'll take thee
Bone and Big, nigga die slowly
I'ma tell you like a nigga told me
Cash Rule Everything Around Me
Sh*t, lyrically, niggaz can't see me
Fu*k it, buy the coke
Cook the coke, cut it, blow the b*tch
Before you call yourself lovin it
Nigga you with a Benz fu*kin it
Doesn't it seem odd to you
Big come through with moms and crews
Goodfellas to to the Mo Thugs dudes
Who's the killa, me or you?

Damn Mo...did u write that? Those are some tight lyrics. You should be a rapper.

Dude Mos a bad ass

mo is straight reppin! lol.

COsMiCTrAvO wrote:Good stuff man! For people with ADD like myself, try to keep it a little more concise my eyes cross after 60 seconds! Lol I don't mean that as a critique you have good ideas!

sry bro, most of my good ones are kinda long. all the short ones arent that great. i think it's cuz i feel like i can tell a better story when i have enough lines to.

MoWarrior79 wrote:Armed and dangerous, ain't too many can bang with us
Straight up weed no angel dust, label us Notorious
Thug a$$ niggaz that love to bust, it's strange to us
Y'all niggaz be scramblin, gamblin
Up in restaraunts with mandolins, and violins
We just sittin here tryin to win, tryin not to sin
High off weed and lots of gin
So much smoke need oxygen, steadily countin them Benjamins
Nigga you should too, if you knew
What this game'll do to you
Been in this sh*t since ninety-two
Look at all the bullsh*t I been through
So-called beef with you know who
F*ck a few female stars or two
Then I bluelight niggaz knew like Mike's sh*t
Not to be f*cked with
Motherf*cker better duck quick, cause
Me and my dogs love to buck sh*t
F*ck the luck sh*t, strictly aim
No aspirations protect the game
Spit yo' game, talk yo' sh*t
Grab yo' gat, call yo' click
Squeeze yo' clip, hit the right one
Pass that weed, I got to light one
All them niggaz I got ta fight one
All them hoes I got ta like one
Our situation is a tight one
Whatcha gonna do, fight or run?
Seems to me that you'll take thee
Bone and Big, nigga die slowly
I'ma tell you like a nigga told me
Cash Rule Everything Around Me
Sh*t, lyrically, niggaz can't see me
Fu*k it, buy the coke
Cook the coke, cut it, blow the b*tch
Before you call yourself lovin it
Nigga you with a Benz fu*kin it
Doesn't it seem odd to you
Big come through with moms and crews
Goodfellas to to the Mo Thugs dudes
Who's the killa, me or you?

Lame... Notorious B.I.G wrote this.. Sorry to ruin ur fame haha

The Truth wrote:Lame... Notorious B.I.G wrote this.. Sorry to ruin ur fame haha

Apparently I'm not the only one that can google search lol

Fr8trainShane wrote:

The Truth wrote:Lame... Notorious B.I.G wrote this.. Sorry to ruin ur fame haha

Apparently I'm not the only one that can google search lol

Naa i didn't google.. I use to listen to NWA and Wu tang

coward1984 wrote:

Fr8trainShane wrote:

The Truth wrote:Lame... Notorious B.I.G wrote this.. Sorry to ruin ur fame haha

Apparently I'm not the only one that can google search lol

Naa i didn't google.. I use to listen to NWA and Wu tang

I don't think anyone who posted on this actually thought Mo really wrote that. I also dont think mo was trying to make it seem like he did. His avatar is bone thugs...

ezweightloss wrote:

COsMiCTrAvO wrote:Good stuff man! For people with ADD like myself, try to keep it a little more concise my eyes cross after 60 seconds! Lol I don't mean that as a critique you have good ideas!

sry bro, most of my good ones are kinda long. all the short ones arent that great. i think it's cuz i feel like i can tell a better story when i have enough lines to.

Like I said it wasnt criticism. If I did have a criticism, it would be that you used far too many articulate words and didnt say NIGGA or mention gangster bs nearly enough. You just didnt come across like a cap popper. Actually that is a great thing.

Anybody who listens to rap knows It was big...
The line where he said spit yo game talk yo shit grab yo gat...
That tipped it for me.. I has like that sounds really familiar...lol

Cheedah was right i just put that for fun and to see who knows rap. Biggie is my favorite solo rapper and Bone is my favorite group so when they did a song together i was in rap heaven lol

MoWarrior79 wrote:Cheedah was right i just put that for fun and to see who knows rap. Biggie is my favorite solo rapper and Bone is my favorite group so when they did a song together i was in rap heaven lol

Lol

Dont think im an expert but i def knew it was biggie

yeah like chedda said, i don't think anyone thought that was mo or him trying to steal material or anything like that.

personally i though ez's words were better...i mean

"Sh*t, lyrically, niggaz can't see me
Fu*k it, buy the coke
Cook the coke, cut it, blow the b*tch
Before you call yourself lovin it
Nigga you with a Benz fu*kin it
Doesn't it seem odd to you
Big come through with moms and crews"

really? thats songwriting now? wow...amazing. i wonder how long that took to come up with.

its funny how different people interpret good songwriting. for instance i'm a big fan of the band scar symmetry who churns out deep, poetic lyrics like so:

"A law of nature undefined
Subtle force we find at play
A door to thoughts revealed now
Open the gate, step outside the frame

Then you will find that your shallow role is but a symptom of thoughts inside
Don't say you must play that role to define yourself

Now space and time seem to decline
See the sky behind the wave
Internal worlds reveal how
Thoughts can descend like a falling rain

Ride beyond time and you'll know
That new thoughts descend now
Fly beyond time and you'll know

I am at one with all things
When you measure your thoughts you will find that i have no form

A law of nature undefined
Revealed now
Open the gate, step outside the frame"


and the song, totally the opposite direction lol.

actually it's from 1997 ff

yeah i think i think it's a lot to do with culture, like i write about what i have (or someone close to me) has experienced, and since i'm not neck deep in the hood i don't talk about murdering and hoes and what not. but if that's a life someone has been raised in then i don't hate on them for spitting it out. but i do prefer rappers who can articulate better and use a broader sense of language. lupe fiasco is one of my favorites right now and he doesn't cuss at all on his new album. but i wrote this a couple weeks ago, cuz i was getting sick of hearing retarded lyrics and people still blaming "the white man" i know it might come off a little racist but i'm not in any way shape or form. hope no one is offended.

Whips and Chains
"I love black people, but I hate n*ggers..." - Chris Rock

It’s ironic how n*ggas use to hate whips and chains,
But now that’s all they want, growin’ up trying be Lil’ Wayne’s,
They forgot the struggle, they forgot the voice,
They forgot the people who had no choice,
Who gave their lives for a little freedom,
And now they just feed lies to anyone who will believe em,
And see I woke up the next morning and saw something I couldn’t believe,
A little black kid graffiti-ing all over a statue of Martin Luther King,
And I hear all these people comparing themselves to Malcolm X,
When all they really do is sit on their ass and collect welfare checks,
They think just cuz they are born then they are entitled,
Burning down shit but forgetting the people who aspired,
Forgetting about the torches and forgetting about the fire,
Of a dozen men dressed in white hoods and gowns,
The same set that came through to burn your family’s house down,
And if you go to Harlem today you’ll find a bunch of guys talking about irrelevant rappers,
And the rhythm of the streets died and was replaced with saturated laughter,
And most people don’t know who Langston Hughes is,
Cuz a cracked out mom won’t teach her kids,
And what’s up with people still blaming the crack epidemic,
You needa pick yourself up and be your own paramedic,
What ever happened to taking responsibility for your own actions,
It doesn’t make you exempt because your skin’s a little blackened,
Zora Neale Hurston, Rosa Parks, and Maya Angelou,
Those three women had more had more courage than you,
And that’s not all, I’m just naming a few,
And you’re there, stuck to your chair, like you ass had glue,
Stop making excuses for not taking care of your blood,
You can’t just leave your family stuck in the mud,
Going to jail for five years at time,
Have your daughter walk in as your doing a line,
Have her grow up just to be all fucked up,
And the cycle starts over and I’m just fed up,

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I suck at writing
So I don't

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of
righteousness
For His name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they
comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the
presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall
follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the
LORD
Forever.

(Psalms Chapter 23)

lol your thread got hijacked ez

falconfansince81 wrote:lol your thread got hijacked ez

Yeah, but it was worth it to hear Phantom tell a joke.....